Today almost didn’t happen.
I woke up and couldn’t move. From my neck to my toes, my entire body was in a tense fire of pain. Who would have thought a day of yoga yesterday would leave me strung out the next day? I mean, am I this out of shape where a couple hours of yoga in the middle of discussion threw me out of commission? Or maybe I’m just getting old. Regardless, I wouldn’t have traded in this feeling for the world. Every stretch, every pose, every breath let out tension from the year of false forgiveness. My body was officially in boot camp mode, what with the gallons of sweat I’ve let off already. But more importantly, my soul was doing the heavy lifting. Relearning to forgive myself for my perceived shortcomings, failures and losses would be the hardest thing to do besides learning to let go of the excess baggage that came from a harsh relationship.
In breath: energy
Out breath: calm
We have been learning the fundamentals of balance in the world of yoga, and like biology, homeostasis is the backbone to everything right in the world. If we were tired, we were encouraged to rest or accept support from those around us. If we had excess energy, we were encouraged to share it with others by sending them prayers and guidance. This balance between each of us women in the class outwardly exemplified the necessary inner balance that we, as ego-humans, so often shy away from. Being raised Asian, I was always taught the values of honoring the family, and valuing what we have before wanting more. With this, my ego grew to be too proud to accept help from others in any way shape or form. I didn’t want to seem weak or like someone who always relied on others. But here I am now in an environment where we are encouraged to ask for help. This is gonna kick my soul’s egotistical ass. I don’t like asking for help. It’s like confessing to yourself you are human in an inhumane world. Here we go… breathe in, breathe out….