Ever since the Yoga immersion ended this past Sunday, I’ve been trying to catch up with reality and make up for lost time: phone calls to potential jobs, applications, getting ready for grad school, spending time with friends I haven’t seen in awhile, and taking solitude field trips with myself. This week has been a whirlwind of emotions but a feeling I wouldn’t trade in for the world.
Yesterday, after leaving my friend’s place in Redondo Beach, I drove through the beautiful sunshine, through Los Angeles, the Valley, and up to Ventura County. The hills were charred from a past wildfire but bits of life were springing up again. It looked like my soul was laid out in front of me. The sky was a hopeful blue. About an hour and half later, I was back in the ‘Nard. I quickly paid some visits to the old high schools I used to coach, then headed to my dad’s house. After catching up with him and the family, one of my best friends started blowing up my phone, “Where are you!!!?” We hadn’t seen eachother in MONTHS.
Every girl has that one friend. The friend who you can swap clothes with and sincerely compliment. The girl who reminds you why fuck-ups happen and reminds you that life goes on, with or without judgement. The girl who sympathizes with your breakups but still says, “I told you he was a douche”, and as much as you don’t want to hear it, you know it comes from a genuine place of care. The friend who will put you in your place when you whine over a stupid guy who doesn’t deserve you, but who will also knock a bitch out to protect you. Her and I used to tear up Ventura when I lived there in 2006/2007. Even after we pretty much stopped partying, we’ve stayed good friends. As a welcome-home, she insisted on cooking me and our friend Kay this AMAZING dinner with grilled grass-fed organic steak, organic veggie kabobs, and organic kale salad with goat cheese. Finished with red wine. It was amazing to be back with such great women who, like me, survived emotional fires.
After dinner, we went out downtown to meet up with some friends, since it was Kay’s birthday. As soon as our heels hit the sidewalk, some spiritual force brought us a cab. The driver was rad- wouldn’t turn on his meter and was super sweet. Thank Goddess because none of us carry cash and NONE of us actually wanted to walk 5 blocks in heels ^_^ As soon as we piled in, one of my friend’s neighbors, some dude named Tim, walks by. “Are you heading downtown?” I asked. “Yeah,” he shrugged. “GET IN!!!!” We pulled him in and took off.
Downtown, we roll out, throw whatever cash we find to Mr. Cabbie, and start at the Goodbar. I rolled my eyes at the usual Ventura crowd: holier-than-thou bros, potheads with long nappy hair, fat chicks in minis, and the meat head college kids from CSUCI. The music was pretty good and I did meet some great people, but as it was Kay’s birthday, we went where she went. That meant bar-hopping where she could get free drinks for her birthday. As my tolerance is next-to-nonexistent, two drinks in and I was already good. At the Sewer (not the real name of this bar), we closed the place down. There was this local rock band which brought around a crowd. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was my recent divorce with d*bag central, and maybe it was the rich amount of low-lifes surrounding me, but my scathing bitch came out. A guy who CLEARLY left his office late after maybe doing his secretary was looking at me as he sat next to my friend on the patio. So I sat down at their table, gauged how drunk he was, and began firing at all angles. Question by question, I ripped at his choice of clothing, his hair, his lack of education, his mannerisms, his habits, even his parts of speech. My other friend next to us even looked at me like, “okay, you’re going to make this grown man cry soon.” After a minute, I paused, felt my phone vibrate, and looked down. My ex was apparently trying to Skype me. Whoops, forgot to turn that off.
Through my intuition, I ignored the guy I was ripping apart long enough to discover that my ex had opened up his OKCupid site again, conveniently leaving out the fact that he has children. I giggled to myself coyly. But in an instant, I felt saddened. Here is a guy searching for himself, while denying his own children. Even in his photo gallery, there were no photos of them. Actually, only photos of him that I had taken when we were together. Fun. It took me a minute to Skype-rip him a new asshole about that. Then I was back to the party.
Later that night, I grabbed my girls and we piled into our friend’s truck to go home. I didn’t realize how much we drank til we wound up in the McDonald’s drive-thru Our friend is such a sweetheart, he took care of our not-so-sober selves the entire night. As I lied there with my friends on my best friends bed, a part of my heart missed cuddling with familiarity. Thankfully the drinks and French fries knocked me out quickly.
This morning, as we sat in the hungover glory of Allison’s Country Café in Ventura, I thanked God silently for allowing me the friendships to cultivate my growth as I go cold-turkey from my past life. And I thanked God for the AMAZING chicken-fried steak and pepper gravy looking back at me.
- Can a girl just get a non-sexual hug??