I have always been a procrastinator. Opting for a day at the beach, or some time down in Santa Monica on the promenade, rather than studying or doing that essay that’s due in 3 hours. In the past few months, I figured I’ve grown out of that stage. Just like I thought I could start clearly distinguishing between work and play. I think I spoke too soon haha…
The past couple weeks have been pretty interesting. It’s now autumn, by Socal standards, which means dry wind, 80 degree heat, and a bizarre mix of delightful fun with the new realization that we are all back to work or back to school. This means, along with static electricity from the Valley (eff you San Fernando, eff you!!), I’m gaining new friends, new experiences, and new ways to possibly ruin my heart once again.
So far in the last couple months, business A has been taking a break, business B is still in the works, job A is slowing down, job B is starting, school is ripping me a new one, and the guys in my life are… well… still distractions. I have to laugh whenever my parents look at me everytime I mention a guy in my life. They really don’t want me dating when I’m back in school, unless they have some kind of tuition insurance attached to them. I understand, but sometimes I can’t help the connections that the universe brings to me. So I guess it’s safe to say, I’m not going to stop dating just because of school. However, I am a LOT more picky with my time now. Since spending time with C in Santa Barbara a few weeks ago, it’s been nice hanging out with him more and getting to know eachother more. Without the context of sex. Yes, I said it. There. For all you Cali-hating d*bags out there, not all chicks west of the Colorado River are sluts. Nice try.
C and I have become strangely close in a way that I probably haven’t felt since high school. The connection two people can get when things come from a simpler place. That said, I’m scared as all shit. Not gonna lie. Aside from my recent past with my ex, I’m currently having to juggle so much as it is. I already explained to him that I wouldn’t want to neglect anyone because of my work load. That didn’t stop us from hanging out more this past weekend, and having a grand ‘ol time: Sushi, a long drive, sake, champagne, beach, sunshine, and ice cream! we even stumbled upon the random Pagan festival of long Beach. hmm reiki? not today, we had some exploring to do.
By the end of the day, the subject of a relationship did come up. As delighted as I was on the inside, I had to remember to breathe and not crash my car on the outside. Was I ready for this? Honestly, no. Did I want to be? Honestly, yes. But really, I don’t know how any of my thoughts transitioned into his perceptions. Not wanting to overstep his boundaries, or maybe as an effect of feeling shot down, there was that feeling of a divide again by the time we got back to my place. How badly did I want his hands on my cheeks… but I wasn’t about to push it. Things had to sink in. Besides, we both had work the next morning, and couldn’t risk anything getting awkward. Afterall, we do work together~ We said goodnight, that was it.
That same night, I got a really strange text from a friend that night. Really, more of an acquaintance than a friend. He and I met randomly a few months ago, only hung out for like 2 hours, and never again afterward. We don’t talk, never hang out, and don’t have mutual friends. So imagine my shock when he began asking me what I thought of him via text:
Me: “Um honestly, idk, I don’t really know you. that’s kind of an unfair question, why?”
Him: “Just because”
Me: “well, honestly, I think you’re sheltered. You may be a nice guy to your friends and stuff from what I gather, but mostly you seem like a homebody, who doesn’t care to venture out in the world”
Him: “That’s kind of mean”
Me: “Im sorry if I offended you in anyway, but I didn’t mean it if I did. You asked me a question and I gave you an answer. I already said that it wasn’t a fair question to ask considering I don’t even know you and you don’t even know me”
Him: “That’s not stuff you say to your bf”
Me: “OMG WAIT, WHAT?! Back the eff up here, you are NOT my bf, never have been, and never will. I don’t know where you got that idea from but you and I are barely even friends”
Him: “Well, when you talked (vented) to me about your ex, I thought you meant I was your new bf”
Me: “OMG Clearly there’s some miscommunication. Please don’t ever contact me again. Thanks”
Only a month and half into this semester and the male drama has started…. ::womp womp::