Karmic Balance, Moxie, & that State We are Living In

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         It’s my belief in life that everything in the universe must balance out. Even if we are unaware of this balance, it’s there. This balance moves in another time zone, in another wavelength, and in another realm beyond comprehension. What we may perceive as imbalance now, is merely the homeostatic shift from another time past or future that characterized (or will characterize) balance. For example, if a person is happy now, it is only because at one point, that person was or will be sad, and vice versa.

   Now, what happens when a person feels apathy? How is that the inverse of happy or sad, if apathy means an absence of feeling? Apathy actually is the inverse of “great dynamic”. So if, at one point, the universe put you through a time with a huge ebb and flow of emotion, there must be a period of apathy.
    Is that what’s going on?
    The entirety of last year was dynamic, in the very least. Heartbreak, rebirth, destruction, self-realization, hope, shattered dreams, forgiveness, loneliness, anger, sadness, clarity, meaning, and now… Apathy. If it isn’t coming from me, it is coming to me. It frustrates me, but now it’s time to breathe.
    C and I spoke a couple days ago about everything and nothing in particular. One thing that stuck with me was a word he used: Moxie. I forget in what context he used it, but after googling it, I found it meant “a force of character, determination, or nerve.” I believe I have that. I believe everyone has that. But not everyone realizes that. That character trait is what makes me restless in the face of apathy, when life takes a vacation for a little bit. My personality thrives on continuous movement and learning, and at anytime I’ve felt a slow-down, I’ve likened it to not learning as much. Moxie. It’s a blessing and a curse.
    After a long two weeks of endless running around, schedules, appointments, meet-ups, and calls, everything has stopped. It feels strange now. This universal balance of what was versus what is grows real more and more everyday. And since I’ve known C, it feels like my dynamic world with movement and connections has slowly taken a vacation to feel quiet and subdued. If my new feeling of loneliness and serenity balances out your new feeling of possibilities and strength, I wouldn’t want any other state of being. I care about you. Whatever that care entails, it is fine. Do what you need to do. But for while, while you get to know yourself, all I ask from you is that you kindly do not lose yourself, though if you do, do not take me with you.
The Socalette
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