A couple days ago the hazy winter sunlight woke me up to a realization that we have less than a week left in 2013. What was a year of chaos and excitement is now a dream.
It took me about 4 hours to re-read and reminisce through all of my Facebook updates of 2013. It’s amazing how many ups and downs one person can endure: From celebrating the new 2013 year on a ship, to make-ups and break-ups, to new jobs and school, to new friends and cut-ties, to holding my breath and re-learning how to breathe, I think I’ve put a roller coaster to shame. There’s no possible way to list everything that happened but here’s a short list of key events, decisions, and realizations in 2013 that have quite possibly changed my life forever. While reading this, maybe ask yourself some questions: What would your list look like? Who would you thank? What would you do differently? My list is in no particular order…
1. The decision to brave the entirety of my 2nd contract on the ship. And then return for a 3rd. This meant another block of 5 months (140 straight days) of work without a day off, away from my family, away from my boyfriend, away. But had I not been away, who knows how long I would’ve been with the sociopath that is my ex.
2. The times I flexed my forgiveness muscles more than ever. It’s one thing to take back a person who stabbed you in the heart. It’s another to do it 3x. Maybe I was forgiving, maybe I was just blind and dumb. Maybe a combo of the three.
3. The adventures in San Diego in Spring and Summer: gay bros, new life in yoga, finding my grounds. August 3rd, which Ive written about in a previous post, was the first time I cried openly about what I had been through. On my mat, in a studio, surrounded by love and forgiveness, I finally broke the ties that had bonded me to someone I now realize I don’t even know.
4. The start of grad school and going back to the world of behavior analysis and books.
5. Surrendering at last- aug. 3rd taught me that no matter how hard you try, some people will never change; and nov. 3rd taught me that no matter how hard you try not to, sometimes you end up liking someone you thought you couldn’t have the capacity to- younger guys? who knew~
7. The time I was severely hungover at The Getty Museum on a late summer day. Also, Hungover at church. Also, Hungover while working. All these situations proved not only how resilient I’ve become, but how much I needed to check on my coping skills.
8. My cousin’s wedding (June 28, 2013). Made me realize that although she got the ring I had always wanted (a Tacori limited), my life was far from over. I was genuinely happy for her, and in feeling that, I became empowered to simply put more effort into loving others’ awesomeness as my own.
9. February 23, my birthday. Although I was still abroad and had broken up with my ex for the first time, I was still paying our joint phone account. As a birthday present to myself, AT&T and I had a nice chat that day. Imagine the fun when he exploded when finding out his party chat lines with other girls was destroyed. I realized I should never let a guy piggy back off my earnings if he has done me wrong.
10. The moment I discovered Alt-J while sitting in traffic during a beautiful autumn dusk. I realized how much I love California for what it is, not what people think it is.
11. In November, Typhoon Haiyan hit the Philippines. Because of my family out there, I decided to produce a project that raises money for the Team Rubicon organization. While this org was sending out our veterans to help, I was left here crying while watching the Filipino news channels. As a person who works with children, watching these young parents talk about their young daughters’ deaths was tragic enough to compel me to sacrifice what little money Ive saved to produce the Breath & Blessings Project. It’s not til January but the rush I get from asking for donations and designing this is indescribable. My only wish is that I’ve had some impact on the aftermath, and that I’ve inspired others to help the world around them.
12. In December I learned that sometimes, friends will not act like friends and withhold info from you even if they meant well. When I found out that J had come back to Cali to visit for a little bit, instead of telling me, she decided to hang out with an ex of mine. The new Yogic me is doing a pretty good job at not making assumptions, but the regular ol me has decided I don’t even give a damn. A damn about what? Everything.
13. When I found out what Cielito Lindo looks like in Santa Barbara. It’s like a Grand Canyon in my backyard.
14. The day I decided to open an OKCupid account for shits and giggles. Turned out to be a mess of diarrhea and bubbles. Just not my style really~
What have you done? What will you do now? Happy New Years Yo. Love, Socalette